


Cynedcism

by CassleyCanopus



Series: Amnesty- Featuring Coola Kids [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Amnesty, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Paranoia, TAZ: Amnesty - Freeform, except it'll look outdated when we find out what's causing them, it's kind of your average abomination attack, possession-ish, quiet zone ex machina, that might have been a good thing to tag last time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-07-13 06:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16011923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassleyCanopus/pseuds/CassleyCanopus
Summary: Ned takes a hit, and he's left... suspicious. Paranoid. Out of commision. It's up to Aubrey and Duck to try and solve this thing without him.Meanwhile, Jake just wants to be helpful, but there's only so much one boy can do.





	1. Chapter 1

There’s a crackling sound, like the zapping of metal in a microwave, and then Ned is lurching back a few steps. His back hits a tree and his hand clamps against his head. Aubrey takes a step forwards. Duck takes a step back. Thanks to that morning sun, he can see Ned’s face no problem, and he’s none too keen on the expression he sees there- the one he’s wearing like a bad coat.

There was a creature. A being, composed entirely of harsh stringy threads of acidic white light- nothing like Minerva- that had shot the beam that hit Ned directly from its humanoid-ish arm. It gives an almost satisfied-looking tilt of the head, and then it dissipates into nothing.

Aubrey lifts her foot to move forwards again and- nope, not happening, Duck grabs her arm. She shoots him a questioning look, but he can only shake his head slightly.

“Ned?”

The man in question looks up as soon as Duck calls his name. Well, he doesn’t call it, exactly. The silence of the woods is almost defeaning, and a guy don’t have to speak more than a whisper to make himself heard.

There’s something… wrong with his face. Nothing damaged. Nothing bleeding. But his brow ain’t crumpling up in pain like it should be after taking a blow like that. His eyes aren’t showing that sadness, the sadness they always show when Duck’s tone gets guarded like that.

Aubrey meets Duck’s eyes. She sees it too.

“Duck, my good friend. Why aren’t- why don’t-”

Ned falters for a moment. There’s a twitch making itself known in the corner of his eye. Not great start.

“Hey, uh, Ned? Was that a bolt of lightning that just hit you? Cause it looked like that was a bolt of lightning that just hit you. So, uh, maybe we should-”

“You should what?” And, woah, okay, that’s not a tone Duck’s ever heard Ned take before. Maybe with him, once or twice, but never with Aubrey. “Finish me off while I’m weak?”

Her eyes narrow in shock. Aubrey, she thinks when she’s surprised. Takes a while to notice, but she don’t go in for a lot of that 'wide-eyed and speechless' bull when there’s a danger she can’t get a handle on.

“What? Ned, you know that’s not what I was going to say.”

Ned’s shaking his head now, and there’s the hint of a smile- no longer jovial, no longer good-natured- that’s creeping across his face that makes Duck unconsciously take another step back.

“Oh, sure, sure, that’s what you _say._ But it’s what you _know,_ isn’t it? That’s the important thing here. You can’t fool me, _Lady Flame._ You know everything, dontcha? You know the whole story.”

Duck has a kind of mental alarm system. Thought of it a bit like a spidey-sense back in his teen years, though he’s updated that particular idea since the films. Peter Parker had, what was it? A funny feeling, maybe a scatterin' of goosebumps. Duck, on the other hand- he feels like the hair on the back of his head is gettin' yanked at by fate herself.

He feels that now, and that’s gotta be the reason- though he's not thinking too clear- why he starts walking Aubrey out of the clearing when she’s not even halfway through “Ned, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ned goes for his holster, and the feeling tugs on his hair again, and the next thing Duck knows, he’s legging it and trailing a surprised Aubrey behind him.

There’s a gunshot not even ten seconds later. It doesn’t hit. But it’s enough for Barclay, waiting ten yards away behind the wheel, to speed off back to lodge without Ned, no questions asked.

 

* * *

 

 

No one said a word on the drive. It’s only now, as they’re back safe with Ned far behind them, the Barclay turns to his passengers.

“So,” he says in a commendably even tone, “what the hell was that?”

“Well, I was right. There was, uh, more to that disturbance than a buncha teenagers. ” Duck says. He's referencing an odd radio wave anomaly that'd been cropping up in their scans for the past few days. It had been bugging him, and that had been all good and fun. A whole bunch o' laughs with a few "don't worry so much" type phrases thrown in for good measure. And everyone slowly realised what time of the month it was getting to.

“The radio disturbance? Wait, no, hang on, _that’s_ the abomination?”

 “I mean, probably? I haven’t been here long. Are human-shaped electricity creatures just a thing you have around here, or…?”

Barclay just gives Aubrey a Look, so they skip the half-hearted goofs and jump right into the story. It’s more talking than he’s used to, and more talking than he wants to do, and that makes Ned’s absence sting a little more. By the end of it, Barclay’s looking freaked.

“Okay, okay. Jesus. Right. Fine. Okay.” Barclay takes a moment. He looks like he’s thinking hard. “So it's like, made of electricity and sparks and shit? Okay. Electricity can’t- wood is an insulator, right? Electricity’s not gonna be able to touch it."

"Probably," says Duck, wishing he'd skipped a little less school.

"So you guys- just stay in the lodge, and that'll be fine and safe and good, and you can warn everyone, and. God. Mama’s in town, getting’ Moira’s blueberries.”

“We should probably warn her,” Aubrey says helpfully.

“Okay. Yeah. I can do that. I’ll run out real quick and get her. But you two have to stay here, right? Just to be safe. Until we think of a plan.”

Aubrey nods along, but she's looking about as happy with that agreement as Duck feels. They watch Barclay leave through the window of the lodge.

Aubrey takes to pacing up and down the nice rug in the lobby. Her fists are curled up tight, and she’s making the fireplace roar up more violent than usual, but even so it takes a full minute until she turns to him.

“So we’re leaving the lodge before Barclay gets back, right? That’s something we can agree on?”

Duck swallows. “I don’t- that may not be the best idea.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. It’s absolutely the wrong thing to say, and Duck knows that as soon as Aubrey’s frown deepens. He doesn’t risk a glance at the fireplace, but he feels the room heat up again.

“What? Duck- Ned is gone! We can’t just-”

“Ned’s dead?” A terrified-sounding voice comes from the doorway. Jake Coolice is staring at them both, sunglasses knocked askew in his shock.

Duck feels his expression soften. “Wha- no, Jake, nothing like that.”

“He got got by the bom-bom, but Duck apparently thinks that’s not a problem, so don’t sweat it.” Aubrey somehow manages to sound comforting and passive-aggressive all at once.

And Duck- he doesn't want to deal with this right now. However, he also doesn't want to follow the necessary social formulae that lead to him not having to deal with this right now. Cause, okay, he's not really a fan of big angry speeches and what have you. Dislikes 'em intensely. Too much attention gets focused on one guy, right? But. This? Duck is not cool with this. Duck is not cool with pretending like he don't care about Ned and what Ned's gonna think if he hurts someone and having a reprise of that God-awful trip to the hospital last time Ned got hurt.

He doesn't want to snap at anyone, but-

“Aubrey, I- come on. Look. I know you see me as some- some coward or whatever, and honestly that’s not far off the truth, but. Jesus. If I were there bravest man in the world, I’d still be sayin’ to hold back. I dunno. I just- what good are you gonna do Ned if you go out there without a plan, if you go out right now, and you get got too? Even if we find him- then what? You gonna blast him with a fireball?”

“I don’t-” A complicated expression flashes across her face. Duck’d wager a guess that Aubrey herself didn’t know in that moment how she wanted that sentence to end. “I can’t. He can’t get hurt.”

“I mean," Duck feels himself deflate slightly, "yeah. I don’t want him gettin’ hurt.”

There's a beat. Duck and Aubrey exchange tentative smiles.

“Well,” Jake pipes up, “on the flipside, Mama’s got a tranq gun layin’ around in the basement. This situation’s pretty bunk, but that could help you out.”

Aubrey falters. “She’s got a what now?”

“That’s gotta be at least a little bit illegal.”

Jake laughs a little and- Duck notices with some worry- avoids directly answering. He wipes a smudge off his shades and shoves them back on. “So, how ‘bout it?”

Aubrey raises an eyebrow at Duck, even though it's not really questioning. She can see him giving in before he admits it.

“Alright, yeah, that could work. I’m only agreein’, mind, cause Ned’s got too many people that he acts suspiciously about for this _not_ to go horribly wrong if we don’t intervene. But this is a retrieval. We need to avoid directly confrontin’ the actual beast until we know its weak spot.”

Aubrey grins. There’s worry lingering in her eyes, but she looks at least little happier. “Awesome. So we head to wherever Ned’ll know the most people- like, the highest concentration of potential enemies- and hope to knock him out. Couldn’t go wrong!”

“Radical! Let’s do it!” Jake beams.

Aubrey and Duck exchange a glance.

“Uh, hey, Jake-” Duck starts.

Wisely, Aubrey interrupts him. “Could you grab my gloves from my room? It’s real cold out.”

The kid goes for a thumbs up. “Sure thing!”

Aubrey and Duck are both smiling until he’s out of earshot. In an instant Aubrey turns to Duck and Duck turns to Aubrey and they share a moment of panicked eye contact. This time Duck takes the initiative.

“So. We can’t bring him with us, right?”

“Uh, yeah, no kidding.”

“If we go puttin’ Barclay’s boy in danger without his permission- well. Put it like this, he’ll kill us before any abomination gets a chance to.”

“Yeah, and- hey, also? We don’t know what’ll happen if Jake gets possessed by the bom-bom. What if he goes all uber-powerful and junk?”

“Good point.”

“Yup.”

“So… you’re telling him?”

“What? You tell him.”

“You tell him.”

“ _You_ tell him.”

“Tell who what now?” Jake bursts back into the lobby like a shot from a glitter gun.

“Aubrey needs to tell you something,” Duck says quickly, ignoring a look of utter betrayal from Aubrey.

She recovers quickly. “Ah, yes. See. The thing is. The thing is this. This is our problem. We’re- we’re real worried about the Cryptonomica.”

“Why the Crypt- oh, I get it, cause Ned could go there and get all angry at his customers for not spending enough money, right?”

Aubrey blinks. “Sure, okay, that works. Exactly that.”

Jake leans in conspiratorially. “Listen. Not a lot of folks know this, but I ain’t half bad on a bike. I can be over at the ‘Nomica in fifteen minutes if you need to go someplace else.”

Aubrey glances at Duck. By the look on her face, she’s thinking the same thing he is- if they don’t send Jake off to the less dangerous place, he’ll just tag along to the more dangerous place.

“You know what? You’re a real lifesaver. Just- uh, try not to get zapped if you see a thing made outta light.”

Jake runs off to get his bike ready (and his helmet, because “a non-fractured skull is more tubular than people think”) while Aubrey and Duck head out to his company van. Aubrey’s holding the tranq gun and trying to ignore the nagging fear that any moment it could just go off in her hands.

They share the same thought as they bustle out of the main door, squeezing past Barclay- it would just be wrong to use the Continental without Ned behind the wheel, without Ned rattling off a list of the car’s features again and again, without Ned making weirdly appropriate song choices and singing along without a care. It's not a savagely-ripped-out, just-lost-a-family-member kind of gap. But it's still a gap, so they go with the crappy van.

“Hey, Duck?”

“Mm?” Duck likes to concentrate on driving, but now feels like a bad time to ask Aubrey to hush up. To be fair, they'd been on the road for a good ten minutes in relative silence.

“Thanks for going along with this plan. I know it’s a little high stakes, and- actually, it _was_ kind of also a little bit your idea, but. I appreciate it.”

Duck shifts uncomfortably. “Well, he’s my friend too.” He doesn’t say it unkindly.

There’s a companionable silence in the car for a long while. They’re nearly in town- the place they’ve decided Ned would be drawn to like a magnet- when Duck speaks up again. It’s a thought that’s been snagging on the back of his mind for a while, not quite explaining itself. He’s only just realised what it is.

“Huh.”

Aubrey looks over. “What?”

“We passed Barclay when we left the Lodge, right? I'm not makin’ that up?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so. Why? Oh. _Oh._ ”

Aubrey’s realised, but Duck says it anyway.

“Now, what was he doin’ back at the Lodge so soon, when he didn’t even have Mama with him?”


	2. Chapter 2

Duck and Aubrey are sitting in a van that feels too big. It is filled, for a moment, with silence.

“Shit.” Aubrey says, and laughs without humour. “ _Shit_. This is- we have to go back, right? This is bad.”

Duck considers it for a moment. “Well. Maybe not. Maybe Barclay wanted to check that- that-”

Aubrey silences him with a look. “Duck. Come on.”

“But-” he gives it a moment, but falters- “yeah. Okay, I was hopin’ that some realistic reason for Barclay’s turnin’ back was gonna come to me, but- I got nothin’.”

Aubrey nods. Her eyes are narrowed again, squinting like she’s doing quadratics in her head. Duck rubs the back of his head with a wince.

For a moment, the silence of the car matches the peace of the world outside it. A couple locals pass by the van, and, honestly, by this point they don’t even bother to shoot it curious glances. They’re used to this one and the Continental popping up and just… _lingering_ every now and then.

“So. You gonna head out any time soon, or…?”

Duck starts. “Ah, sorry, forgot what I was doing. Yeah, let’s- uh, let’s go, I guess. Although-”

He breaks off vaguely, scanning the street around them. Same shops, same faces, same trees peeking over the tops of the roofs.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just had a- well, this is gonna sound a little crazy, but I had a funny fee-”

It’s not even on cue. Ned comes storming around a corner and starts striding away from them, filled with more purpose than even Duck has seen before. The sheer dramatis of the entrance is the only thing that resembles Ned. The rest is cold. Tense. Un-jolly.

He doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t see them. Duck’s not sure if he should be ashamed about the relief he feels at the fact.

The moment passes. And then it takes Duck a moment more to realise that they’re both just sitting there, staring at Ned’s retreating form.

“Okay, so I know we just agreed to go meet Barclay, but I feel like maybe now that we know Ned’s here and-”

Aubrey’s already getting out of the car. She’s lifting the tranq gun with a confidence it’s clear she does not feel, if her face is anything to go by.

Duck should absolutely say something now. He’s the adult. The responsible one. He needs to boost their morale before they go sprinting off into the unknown.

He opens his mouth to talk and hopes that something good will follow. He stutters for a moment, but it’s okay because a moment later they’re both jumping a foot in the air when a voice interrupts.

“Duck? Aubrey?”

It’s Ned.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time, it was Typical Barclay.

Jake was bursting out of the door, keys in one hand and scrunched-up copy of the Lamplighter in another. He knew where he was going, but the zine had the Cryptonomica’s address on and that helped to curb the nagging fear that he was gonna mess the whole thing up.

Barclay managed to intercept him with one foot out the door.

“Hey, Jake, it looks like it could get cold out there. You sure you don’t want to bring your coat?”

Uh, no, actually he’d much rather go save the day than waste two minutes getting an extra layer. But then if he so much as sneezed later, Barclay’d give him that condescending told-you-so look. So he dashed upstairs and, after a little deliberation (the fleece is streamlined but the puffy coat looks damn good), he was set to face the elements.

And then the second time.

“Hey, Jake, before you go- d’you think you might need those knee pads? I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

Okay, that was _one time,_ and there wasn’t even that much blood, and- anyway, that was six years ago. Barclay sure could hold a grudge. It was easier not to argue, but even so Jake pointedly made eye contact when he strapped the pads on. Out of spite.

Barclay took it as an invitation for conversation. “Where are you off to in such a hurry, anyway?”

“Cryptonomica. Pine Guard stuff.” Jake replied, keeping his tone clipped but easy.

He ducked his head to fiddle with the tricky bit of the buckle. Funny. He thought he saw Barclay’s eye twitch, just a little. Well, he’d always been a stickler for full sentences.

“Pine Guard stuff as in _dangerous_ Pine Guard stuff?”

“Well, yeah. Isn’t it always a little dangerous?”

Barclay hummed, and was quiet for a moment. Jake was about to take the opportunity to leave, but then-

The third time. Iffy Barclay. And- hey, for the record? Much easier to spot in hindsight.

“Okay. Okay, that’s- that’s fine. Actually, before you go, I think Ned left something in the basement that could help you out.”

“Oh- yeah, radical!”

Man oh man, cool monster-hunting job and cool weapon to go with it! Not a bad deal.

That had been just about the only thing on his mind at that moment. Maybe if he’d taken a second to consider Barclay’s weird tone of voice, or the fact that this was something Duck and Aubrey would have known about, or-okay, anything logical, he’d be halfway to the Cryptonomica by now.

As it is, he’s got more of a locked-in-the-panic-room type situation going on here. Which- you know, _fine._ Maybe not ideal, but could be worse. Somehow.

“Barclay, c’mon!” He pounds on the door. His fists won’t do anything, and he knows it. Ned was strangely careful when he designed this room. He’s trying anyway. Maybe for the aesthetic. “This isn’t cool!”

“Safety doesn’t have to be cool!”

 “I need to go! Duck n’ Aubrey literally _just_ asked me to help them out!”

“To go fight some dangerous beast? Uh, let me think about- no. It was irresponsible of those two to ask you to go. This Pine Guard stuff- you could get hurt. It’s deadly work.”

“One time you literally had to break into a kid’s swimming park.”

No response.

“Okay, no, you’re right, bad timing. Look. They were asking me to go _help people._ Y’know, like you like doing? Barclay, you know you have to let me do this.”

Jake’s no expert on monsters. He’d like to be, no doubt, but if Mama decides it’s safer for you to do _extreme winter sports_ than her grassroots business, you take what you can get. But he knows a lot about movies (or, as Barclay calls them, “free Earth culture lessons”). He knows what a possessed dude looks like, and he knows that when someone’s possessed, it’s time to break out the heart to hearts.

“You’re like- my brother. My bro. The best home skillet. Uh. Come on, man.”

He’s not the most emotionally articulate guy ever, okay? You want speeches, go to Ned or something.

Well. Not right now. ‘Cause. Yeah.

Anyway, something he said must have resonated. There’s a hesitation. Barclay’s voice comes through the door again, but different. Softer. Unsure.

“I don’t-”

Jake can’t afford to let the moment pass.

“You don’t…?”

“I- I don’t know. Jake, I don’t know what- I don’t know why _I’m_ so- so-”

Another hesitation. Jake’s heart- decidedly does not soar.

“I don’t know why _you’re_ so insistent- just running into danger- and I’m so worried, I’m just worried _constantly_ \- I mean, Jesus Christ, that water- and something’s wrong, I know, I’m too- I’m too, uh. Never mind. This is. This is the only way. If you’re safe in the panic room, you’re not being _unsafe_ out there.”

Not good. Way not good.

“Barclay-”

Then there’s the sound of a door slamming.

Jake lets his head rest on the door. “Shit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Duck goes ice cold the minute he hears his name, but Ned’s not looking at them. He’s got one hand against his forehead, squinting in almost the complete opposite direction to them.

Aubrey dives down behind the van on instinct. Duck follows.

“He’s looking for us.” Aubrey says, eyes wild.

Ah. Something Duck can contribute to. “Yes.”

“Why is he looking for us?”

“He misses us?”

“I would really, really like that.”

“Right?”

“Right. But. Duck, we have maybe twenty seconds until he sees the van, and we’ve got this super scary-looking gun. One of us is gonna have to take it-”

“Hah, yeah, no thanks.”

Aubrey just nods, and Duck feels like they’ve reached a true understanding until she shoves him out onto the sidewalk.

Wait- fuck- he doesn’t want to do the talking either-

“Duck!” A relieved voice interrupts his panicked train of thought.

It’s Ned, of course, and Duck hurries over before Ned can get dangerously close to the vehicle. He falters when Ned frowns at him. An expression of intense anger starts to storm over his features.

“Hey, buddy-”

“What the _hell_ was that? You two just abandon me in the middle of the woods? No car, and- guess what, it’s a radio quiet zone, so no phone signal. Not cool.”

Duck attempts some impressive verbal acrobatics in trying to give three different explanations in the same sentence. It goes about as well as you’d imagine. Ned lets him stumble on for about for three seconds before the expression cracks, and- he laughs.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. Sorry. Gotta get my kicks somewhere, huh?” A chuckle.

Duck’s less in a laughing mood and more in what the literal heck is happening mood. It probably shows. Ned’s smile fades somewhat.

“Look- Duck, I’m not 100% on what happened in the last hour. Did I, uh- you know, the monster, did it-?”

“You got got.” Duck affirms.

“Okay. That tracks. I remember I felt kind of- floating-y? Yeah, that works. And then suddenly I’m in the forest right outside town, and- I guess whatever that thing was, it had its filthy claws in my mind, and then out of nowhere it just stopped…”

“Barclay,” Duck breathes, “of course.”

Ned nods. “Exactly. Of course.”

Intense eye contact.

“Now, I don’t want to go makin’ assumptions here, but would it be fair to say that you don’t have a clue what I’m on about?”

“Haven’t the foggiest.”

“Peachy.” Duck struggles for a moment to think of the quickest way to explain. “Ah, you know what? Long story short, the abomination got Barclay- Aubrey an’ me didn’t realise until we got here- so it let you go.”

“I did get the impression it was losing interest…” Ned muses.

He sounds vaguely disappointed, and, well, there’s only one man Duck knows who would be disappointed to lose the attention of a beast, and he’s standing three feet away. It’s actually him.

“So. You sure there’s not, uh, any more monster-y stuff goin’ on with you?”

“Ah, my friend. As I’ve told so many other authority figures in the past- I’m clean.”

Duck smiles a little, turns around. “Aubrey! He’s all good! Oh man, Ned, you have no idea what a relief that is. I thought you were gone for-”

“Well, if it isn’t the Lady Flame?” Ned interrupts as soon as Aubrey appears, and- _shit._ There’s people whose anger ignites as a fire in their eyes, and then there’s Ned. Volcanoes erupt and smother any kindness, any vulnerability that he’d regained. “Back already, eh? Want to finish the job. So desperate for your vengeance.”

Aubrey takes a step back, shooting Duck a look that’s all wide eyes and volumes of panic.

“I- what? Duck, what’s he talking about?”

“I don’t know! He seemed fine!”

“Newton I know this might be hard for you to understand but some people are actually _good_ at lying-”

The other man takes a step in Aubrey’s direction, and Duck goes to tackle him, and discovers that Ned is much sprightlier than he lets on.

There’s a fleeting flash of blue. Duck watches as it runs up Ned’s arm.

Desperation leaks into Aubrey’s tone. She edges sideways, away from the van. “Ned, stop. You need to understand, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A grin spreads over Ned’s face and, yup, there’s those scary movie vibes. “Sneaky, sneaky. That’s just what you want me to think. I’ll relax, I’ll stop worrying, and then you can take revenge easy as pie. It’s not gonna be that easy.”

Duck turns to Aubrey to indicate at the gun, but he notices a flash of that same acidic blue in the corner of his eye.

It’s hard to describe. It’s not there, and at the same time it’s the only thing standing in front of them. Thousands of threads of blue light, maybe a tenth of the width of a spider’s thread, leak off of Ned. It’s barely visible in the sun, but it almost looks like they’re fusing together above his greying head. Bit like that Navi from, uh, that one franchise Jane likes.

Aubrey, meanwhile, seems to have forgotten about the gun. She just keeps backing further from the vehicle. “Ned. I don’t understand. Whatever you’re referring to- I don’t get it.” She talks slower, like that’ll break past this monster’s hold. Duck wonders if she can see it too. It’s getting brighter with every word she says.

For a brief moment, Aubrey lets her eyes flicker towards Duck. It’s a meaningful look and it’s not lost on him- in a moment, he sees the opening she’s made. Damn. She’s got quicker instincts for this than him, that’s for sure.

He just needs Ned to take one more step forward, and-

Ned does. In the same second, Duck’s up and scrambling forwards, past Ned (he feels a hand ghost on the back of his shirt), past Aubrey (the same ghost, but the ghost of a smile), towards the van with the best solution they have lying behind it.

He’s planned it so well in his head that he has to do a triple take before he realises the gun’s not there. In its place is a tattered pair of hiking boots. He knows them very well.

Mama’s holding the tranq gun with a curious expression. Two plastic bags lie abandoned next to her.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” she says, “but I coulda sworn this thing was mine.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sunlight is trying to stream gracefully through the windows of the Cryptonomica. The dive down from the sun is graceful- beautifully executed- but all the grit and grime clustering up in the glass is an obstacle it was not prepared to overcome. Kirby watches it all with a scowl.

His shift ended an hour ago, but Ned hasn’t come over and he’ll get shanked if he leaves the store unattended in ‘busy season’. Heaven forbid these all of these two customers be left to their own devices- particularly in this shack-shop-whatever, where everything is either nailed down or worth less than nothing.

The phone rings. Kirby doesn’t answer it. Out of spite.

It rings again, insistently, and he sighs. If this isn’t Ned- and, hell, if Ned doesn’t have a _damn good_ excuse for being late…

“Hello, you’ve reached the Cyptonomica.”

Ned likes him to answer with, uh, something something discovered this world of mystical something something, but then Ned isn’t _goddamn here_ , so Kirby doesn’t think he’ll mind.

“Hi, I’m- wait. I have?”

Hm.

Not the response Kirby necessarily would have expected. It’s not Ned, but it’s a voice he recognises from somewhere.

You know like when you smell something random, and suddenly you’re flashing back to that time you made a clay house in elementary school and the whole classroom whiffed of putty? It’s that kind of feeling. Connected to- eh, something feelings-y.

“Hello, Wait I Have, how can I help?” Kirby knows it’s not a funny goof, but he’s smirking anyway.

The person on the other end of the phone doesn’t immediately hang up, so there’s that.

“Uh. Good question. Okay, listen. Ned has. Ned has asked me to tell you to clear out the shop. Of people, natch. Not objects. That’d be pretty whack-”

Hang on, he knows-

Oh.

“Holy shit,” Kirby says as it clicks, “you’re uh- snowboard salt guy. Uh. Jack?”

Well dang. Those _are_ some feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, second chapter up in record time.
> 
> I know (at least I hope) this one leaves a lot of unanswered questions, so I'll answer the most burning one and save anyone the trouble:  
> He went with the puffy coat.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are highly appreciated THANK YOU I love you? I think? We've got a good connection is all I'm saying


	3. Chapter 3

Duck stares at Mama, no small amount of disbelief on his face. It’s not disbelief at her choice of words, per se.

By this point he don’t even bat an eyelid at her habit of making cool one-liners in high pressure situations. “Guess we’re startin’ to feel the heat” is a personal favourite of his. She delivered it with perfect timing right after Barclay set the stove alight in a particularly ambitious flambé attempt.

So, no, it’s not the cool line that he’s lookin’ all shocked at- it’s more, okay, how does she manage to slip into these dangerous encounters with such dramatic timing? Every time?

“Yeah. It’s yours, no doubt about that. But, okay, we had to borrow it, see-”

Duck hesitates. Mama raises an eyebrow and her message is clear: it’s not a good time to lie. He goes for a summary instead.

“There’s a thing inside Ned and we wanted to get it out.”

“With a tranq gun?”

“Well. I mean, not _directly_ , but-”

He’s cut off by a yelp from the still-ongoing confrontation a few yards away. Duck whirls around just in time to see Ned ducking away from a vicious-looking fireball. Aubrey’s back is to him so he can’t look at her face to try and guess what’s going through her head right now. Can’t be anything fun.

Welp. Time to battle a lifelong friend. Duck starts heading to Aubrey’s side, one hand on Beacon’s hilt. He’s stopped by an alarmingly strong arm across his chest. Mama shakes her head at him slowly, eyes fixed on the scuffle ahead.

“Wait. If there’s too many of you, this thing-” she holds up the gun, and thank God someone with some expertise got their hands on it- “will be much harder to aim.”

Huh. Wow. There’s just- _so many_ things about that that don’t sit right with him. “But- I don’t-”

“It’s fine!” Aubrey yells, apparently having overheard. Mama takes that as her cue to aim, though Ned is stumbling around rather dramatically.

There’s a lull in the conversation as Aubrey skids to the side to buy some distance from Ned. Well. A guy vaguely resembling Ned is the only way Duck can think about it. The fury distorting his face sets him far apart from any Ned that Duck knows.

Aubrey snaps her fingers and a brilliant spark jumps up from her hand. It’s necessary, it must be necessary, but Duck really doesn’t want to see his friend get burned by that.

Fortunately, Mama takes care of that for him. “Aubrey! Stop, you could hurt him!”

“He’s trying to attack me!”

Mama’s penetrating glare communicates a stern disapproval, and Aubrey wilts slightly. Duck thinks maybe that’s a little unfair.

“Okay, okay. Look-” Aubrey edges a little closer, lowers her voice- “I’m not aiming _for_ him, just _near_ him.”

“I don’t think that’s a risk we can take. Just- get in his way. Keep him distracted.” Mama raises the gun closer to her eyes to take more careful aim, and before Duck had found maybe a few pieces to fit together but in that moment he’s finished the whole puzzle.

They can’t trust anyone, huh?

He doesn’t have time to check what he already knows. He just gives himself two paces for a running start and then leaps, tackles Mama to the cold, wet concrete. “Aubrey! Truck, now!”

She must hear something desperate in his tone because she doesn’t even look, she just bolts for the vehicle. She reaches the driver’s side, takes a look at him, decides that is the right choice and scrambles behind the wheel.

Ducks leaps up, leaving Mama still stunned on the ground, and in within the same second he’s slamming the passenger door and they’re off down the road. Aubrey says something about not being able to drive, and he talks her through it until they get to a safe distance to turn off.

Or. Well. That was the plan.

He makes a strong start, goes for the whole leaping up bit with the confidence of an American Ninja Warrior. But. As it turns out, Mama is not as easily stunned as he may have expected. Two arms grip his and the next thing he knows she’s pinning him to the ground. From the bottom of his vision in some part of his mind that isn’t preoccupied with Aubrey’s escape, he sees those same electric blue bolts rippling down Mama’s fingers to him.

He’s not ready to be taken over, not yet. He doesn’t know if Aubrey gets away safe, and he needs to know that, needs to know that maybe someone won’t be ruined by this.

He hopes he won’t attack her.

That blue is acidic and it is too bright. For the first time he wishes he could be seeing the soft cotton blue of Minerva’s silhouette instead. He hopes Minnie isn’t too surprised if he attacks her. Least she won’t get hurt.

He feels the burn of electricity against his skin. He closes his eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

The phone hums in some vague acknowledgement. Kirby doesn’t want to say his interest is piqued that easily, but-

“Is everything okay over there? You sound kind of… eh, I dunno. Stressed?”

“Me? No, no, I’m chill. Uh.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the phone. Kirby waits as long as he feels a polite pause can be, trying to ignore the faint scrabbling noises he can hear over the line.

“Look, is now a bad time? Cause, you know, I can call back later, or…”

“Uh, no, hang on. I just-” there’s a louder, more definite-sounding scrabble- “okay, got it. Gnarly. Uh. What was I saying?”

It’s not something that happens often, but Kirby does not know what to think of this guy. On one hand, he’s calling out of nowhere, sounding half-distracted and half like nothing on Earth could matter more than this one phone call. On the other hand, there’s a lingering sort of, sort of, _thing_ \- kind of. You might say. An. An interest.

He blinks. _Answer the damn question, Kirby._

“Something about clearing out the shop? Which, I gotta tell you, man, could be hard. Busiest I’ve seen the place all day.”

Unfortunately, it’s not a lie.

“Oh, right, yeah. Clearing out. It’s a really good idea right now, probably. Hm. Is Ned there, by any chance?”

“You know, it’s the darndest thing. Haven’t seen that guy all day- which is funny, cause I’m pretty sure he was meant to be taking over my shift about _three hours_ ago.”

To his surprise, that actually gets a laugh. “Sounds like him.”

“Tell me about it.”

 

* * *

 

 

On the other end of the line, Jake is smiling. It’s taking him by surprise. About thirty seconds ago he’d wrecked his favourite helmet to yank a wire out from it. It had been a gift from Barclay and, wow, that had led to a train of thought that was just _all_ bummer. Not fun.

And now he’s smiling.

 

* * *

 

 

There’s a comfortable pause for a moment, then Kirby’s curiosity gets the better of him. “Hey, so I like complaining about Ned as much as the next guy, but- uh, what exactly were you asking?”

“Oh. Yeah. That. So- okay, there’s been no sign of Ned at all?”

“Not even his car, man.”

“Okay, great. Radical. So, he told me to tell you that should he, y’know, just not turn up today, which- by the way, nothing to worry about- you can leave at the end of your shift. Yeah.”

Kirby laughs this time. “Aw, man, where were you an hour ago?”

A customer- sorry, a _patron of the museum_ \- shuffles up to the counter holding a hoodie emblazoned with the Cryptonomica’s logo. One of the most expensive things in the store. Ned would be thrilled. Kirby mouths _sorry, we’re closed,_ and waves her away, ignoring the affronted look on her face.

“Bad signal. Should’ve just come over there.” Jack sounds oddly bitter about the fact. “Still, you got the rest of the afternoon free now.”

Kirby looks over to a desk, on which sits a rough draft of the next Lamplighter. It’s- well, put it this way: if words were water, that piece of paper could be the Savannah. “Something like that. I don’t know, I’ll probably just hang ‘round here anyway. Thanks though.”

“No!” Jack says quickly. “I mean- why would you? It’s a nice- hm. An alright day. And the ski slope is always open on Saturdays, and if there’s one thing you can’t go wrong with, it’s skiing.”

Weird response but okay. “Well, yeah, but I’ve got a heck of a lot of writing t-”

“And town’s probably not too busy, you could deffo make a day of it over there…”

Kirby frowns for a second, wondering why Jack would be so anxious that he leave-

Holy shit. Is he…?

“You free, then?” Kirby manages.

“Uh. No plans for today.”

“Okay, cool, let’s do town then. Meet in Pizza Hut in an hour?”

“Sounds great!”

Kirby hangs up the phone.

Kirby stares at the phone.

The phone does not move. Kirby slowly shoves it into his pocket, and then reality comes back.

That actually happened.

 

* * *

 

 

Jake hangs up the phone, beaming. He’s not afraid to say that he’s a little proud of himself. Against all odds, he managed to get the people in the Cryptonomica away from impending danger- most of all Kirby, who would be safely in town. He’s so proud, in fact, that it’s a full ten seconds later that he realises he agreed to come too.

That. That is considerably less bodacious than one may have hoped.

It’s not that he doesn’t like Kirby. He does. For sure.

It’s just- considering that he’s laying face down on the floor using one hand to guide the wire across the floor of the next room to find the key that he’s hoping Barclay dropped- the timing may not be ideal.

 

* * *

 

 

Duck opens his eyes. He wasn’t expecting to, but then if he went by what he expected none of this would be happening in the first place. Fate has plans, and sometimes those plans are going to involve a possessed woman pinning you to the ground for a frankly uncomfortable length of time, and that’s just what’s going to happen.

Mama, for her part, is not looking happy with the situation. “Ned, it’s not working. Why is it not working what has he done why is it _not working_?”

Ooh. Okay. This could be interesting.

Duck feels some of his worry start to slip away. Mama can’t turn him. That means he can’t- he won’t- well. He’s not sure exactly what this abomination’s agenda is, but it can’t be good, and now he won’t be having a part in it.

An engine is steadily roaring in the background of Mama’s frantic hissing. It’s getting louder.

Mama leans up to glare more directly at Ned, and Duck takes the opportunity to throw her hold while she’s off-balance. He stumbles back a few steps and now Mama’s shooting him death glares and Ned is observing him so neither of them see the van, complete with Aubrey, hurtling towards them.

Great. Cool.

Duck has a theory. He has thirty seconds to test it, preferably not getting hurt in the process.

“Duck, buddy. Come on. You don’t need to fight us.” The abomination is using Ned’s special smile- the one that feels warm, feels genuine. He’s ignoring that one.

“I think otherwise,” Mama growls. “I told him to turn. He should have turned. Ned, why didn’t he turn?”

“It’s, uh- you weren’t prepared, there, Mama. You were weak. So.” Duck attempts to sound taunting.

“Hey now, Duck-” the abomination starts to croon in Ned’s voice.

It is interrupted by an inhuman shriek from Mama as she lunges as Duck. He dodges, but her fist grabs at his jacket and she lands a solid blow on his face. Duck doesn’t want to use Beacon but that throws him off balance, reduces him to using a kick to the inside of her knees which gets her away from him but not for long.

He forces a laugh. “What did I say? Weak.”

Rage intensifies in her features, and- there! That same unnatural blue light starts to drift in stringy lumps from her shoulders. She goes for a quick dash to tackle him, but he sees it coming and this time he’s fast enough to dance out the way. She stumbles. Duck looks her in the eyes and tries to grin.

“Duck.” The abomination makes Ned say, and this time it’s a warning.

He risks another glance to the van. Fifteen seconds, if that. Aubrey looks nervous. He looks back in time to see Mama hefting up tranq gun, except she’s not aiming it to shoot- she’s slamming it into the back of his head. Duck hits the ground, hard. His ears ring. He just needs a second to get his bearings, but he looks up and Mama is already advancing on him. Except she doesn’t look completely pissed now. Can’t be having that.

“Path- pathetic.” Duck grimaces, doing his best to at least _sound_ amused.

It works. Violence and wrath strike like lightning into Mama’s eyes, and she growls- actually _growls_. She’s kicking his abdomen but he doesn’t care; he’s watching the blue light solidify again into that sphere above her head, and now he’s seeing how the strings of light are threaded so carefully through her being--and Aubrey can’t be more than five seconds now, she’s screaming out the window- so Duck is lifting Beacon and he knows, he knows his aim ain’t gonna falter, not now- Ned is roaring at him to stop, and he’s not friendly-looking now, not in the least -and he can’t hold off any more because Aubrey is _right there_ -

In one smooth movement Duck is stabbing Beacon into that ball of blue light, and the world stops.

Aubrey slows the car. She’s close enough to see the light now, same as Duck, and a small smile is spreading over her face because they’re getting Mama back. Ned’s face landslides from furious to desolated. And Mama.

Mama _screams_.

It sounds like the sound is being ripped, inch by inch, from her throat.

She starts sinking to her knees, and the sound stops, quite suddenly, even though they can all see she’s still screaming, and, Christ, that’s worse. She clutches her head with both hands.

No one moves for long, long moment. Ned is glaring at both of them, but it’s obvious he knows what to do about as much as they do.

Mama’s shoulders relax. Something feels wrong. Her shoulders start to shake.

She looks up and she’s laughing.

Two seconds later Duck is sprinting for the van because his life depends on it, and then he’s inside and they’re speeding off down the road. They aren’t pursued, not yet.

Because the light is still there, and it knows that hope is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snapple!
> 
> As always, any comments or kudos you may care to give will fill me with an unreasonable, unparalleled joy


	4. Chapter 4

Here’s where Dani’s at right now.

It’s the kind of monster hunting period again, which is cool. Mama and Barclay get extra stressed around this kind of time, and everyone else stays indoors a little more. Except for Aubrey. Dani doesn’t tend to see a whole lot of Aubrey when there are monsters creeping around outside, which is not ideal.

You know. Because of Dani’s gargantuan crush on her and all that.

“I just don’t understand. He left his bike out there, in the cold, with no safety measures or nothing.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Dani. Jake can be careless sometimes.” Barclay shoots her a half-smile from behind a train of steam.

“Huh, yeah. I guess you’re right.” Dani laughs.

Barclay made waffles once when they were little; the whole deal with whipped cream and strawberries and all that. Dani shoved Jake’s bike into a pile of snow and waited until dessert to tell him. One of them got two waffles that day, and the other one was an un-careless idiot called Jake who prioritised bike health over literally the best thing ever.

Barclay hands her a mug and takes a sip from his own.

“Where’d he get to, anyway? It’s his turn to do the dishes and I am _not_ letting him ‘forget’ again.” Dani examines a bunch of flowers in a vase on the windowsill. Freshly picked, by the looks of it.

“He’s safe.”

“Cool, okay. So like in the hot springs or gone out or…?”

“Oh, no,” he says quickly, “no, he hasn’t gone out. No. So you don’t need to go out and look for him. You weren’t going to, were you?”

“Course not. It’s freezing outside. I’m not going out in that.”

“Good,” Barclay nods, looking satisfied. “Good, it’s much safer inside.”

Right, okay then. So that’s not Barclay. Cool.

On an unrelated note, the tea is surprisingly sweet. “This a new blend?”

“Camomile and blueberry.”

Alright. Time for some quick thinking. Dani needs to do some probing, figure out exactly what’s going on here. Maybe give Aubrey a ring once she’s out of Barclay’s earshot. Aubrey and the others, of course, but hopefully Aubrey’ll be the one to pick up, because Dani knows Aubrey has the quick wits to get on top of this situation. She’s smart, and inventive, and- incidentally- also funny and pretty, in like a kind of soft spiky kind of way, and her eyes are like autumn and honey and old books- but _smart_ , smart is the important one.

“Blueberry? You can put that in tea?”

“If you know what you’re doing.”

That said, that plan depends on the chance that Aubrey- or, _fine_ , any of them are somewhere with a phone signal.

“This is good stuff. I bet Moira will be thrilled.”

“Moira? Moria, yeah. Uh. Why?”

Dani chuckles. “You know Moira and her blueberries.”

Barclay chuckles too. “Yes. That I do.”

There’s still the problem of where Jake’s wandered off to, which is more than a little worrying, but for right now she can say it’s probably a good thing he’s not here at the moment. Much easier for her to deal with this by herself.

She takes a sip from the tea to stall for a moment, turns to the doorway. Sees Jake hovering in the living room. Promptly fights not to spit out her drink. Christ.

Barclay turns to look at her, a tad too much concern written on his face. She darts to the opposite side of the doorway, praying that divine intervention will grace Jake with the good sense to duck out of eyesight.

“What’s wrong? Is it too hot? Careful, I don’t want you burning yourself.”

Dani catches a string of some blue light drifting from Barclay’s shoulder. She’s tempted to dismiss it as a trick of the light, but, frankly Dani’s not in the habit of dismissing anything: potential illusions, unfounded conclusions, fuzzy feelings about certain pyromaniac magicians…

“Ah, no, it’s fine. Just went down the wrong way, you know.”

“Here. I’ll just add a little cold water.”

Barclay hands her back a mug of diluted lukewarm tea, which is just. The worst.

She lets her eyes flicker briefly over to the living room, over Barclay’s shoulder. Jake is peering at her from behind the sofa, making frantic signals towards Barclay. Helpful lad, that Jake.

“So. If it’s good with you, I’m gonna head back to my room.”

Barclay gives her a blank look. Jake is now signalling to the door behind him. He’ll be spotted if he tries to leave.

“Got the last few chapters of Sense and Sensibility to go, and I am honestly on the edge of my seat, so…”

“Just reading? No other plans- not going out, or…?”

“Just reading. Unless- wait, is that a problem with you?”

“Oh, no, no, that’s perfect. Ideal, in fact. You want a top up, or are you good?”

Barclay turns away for a brief second to check the level of water in the kettle. Dani holds up five fingers to Jake and starts the countdown in her head.

“Nah, I should be fine.”

“If you’re sure. Happy reading, then-”

That’s five. Dani leans against the counter casually and _oh no,_ there go the flowers. Barclay jumps three feet at the noise and immediately goes for the dustpan and brush, missing, in the process, Jake legging it out the front. The sudden slam of the door is barely noticeable, but Barclay looks up-

“Ah, shit, sorry,” Dani cries loudly, flustering towards the wreckage, “damn it! Oh no! That was Duck’s favourite vase.”

“It’s alright, no harm- no, don’t go near it- no harm done. Did you, uh, did you hear-?”

Dani steps well away from the broken vase. “Hear what?”

“I thought the door- wait, are you hurt? Let me see your hands. Are you bleeding anywhere?”

The suspicion melts off Barclay’s face, replaced by worry, as he grabs her arm. That same blue light is drifting off his own.

“I’m fine, really-”

Dani cuts herself off when the blue light intensifies as fast as a snap of her fingers, becoming borderline opaque. She can see a sphere of it above his head. She would love to know what on the literal earth is happening, but evidently fate has decided ‘not yet’ on that particular wish because it is in that moment that Barclay- glitches. Goes blank in the face. He talks, and it’s not the same, like someone switched up the radio signal in his head.

“Say. You wouldn’t know where Duck went off to, would you? Or what their whole plan was?”

“Duck? No. Haven’t seen him all day.”

“Oh, okay, friend Dani. No problem.”

Blank face again. The blue light sinks down into him. Back to iffy Barclay. It’s another couple minutes before he accepts, looking happier and much less blue, that Dani hasn’t a scratch on her. He’s so preoccupied with clearing up the mess of water and pottery shards that he doesn’t notice her slipping out the front door.

Well. That was ominous.

 

* * *

 

 

They clear town in comfortable silence. Duck stares out the car window, feeling only a little like a stereotypical brooding action movie protagonist, trying to piece _anything_ together from what they just saw. Aubrey speaks up unexpectedly.

“Hey, so. You’re not like… possessed, are you?”

“I mean. I don’t think so. Not sure how I’d go about proving it, but, uh. Pretty sure I’m the real deal.”

Aubrey’s eyes are fixed on the road, but she nods stiffly. “Cool. Cool, yeah. Cool.”

There’s a moment of relative silence, besides the purr of a passing silver car.

“Aubrey?”

“I’m sorry. I lied. Nothing is cool.”

“You know what? I would agree with that particular assessment. Everything is decidedly un-cool at the moment.”

Duck is rambling. Aubrey steamrolls right past it, like a smart person.

“I don’t know where I’m driving this car, Duck.”

“Well. Uh.” Oh no. “Well. Goal number one: get away from town. That one we did. That one’s done.”

“Always nice to make progress,” Aubrey murmurs.

“Goal number two. Go somewhere else. Uh. Amnesty Lodge?”

“Pretty sure Barclay’s all possessed over there.”

“Sure, sure, fair. The Cryptonomica?”

“That would be the first place I would check if I were Ned though.”

Duck is running out of options very quickly. “Public library?”

The car’s engine sounds like it’s getting louder.

“Alright, that’s an obscure one. I don’t think anyone’ll look for us there. Counter point: how will that help us even a little bit with anything ever?”

“Yeah, no, that’s a good point. I don’t think the librarians trust me anyway. Okay, how about-”

Duck cuts himself off, because that isn’t the sound of this engine.

“-Motorbike.”

“Motorbike? I haven’t been round here super long, is that some kind of-”

“No, Aubrey, listen. You hear that?”

It’s the humming of a far off motorbike. They can’t see it yet.

“How many folks do you know in Kepler who ride motorbikes?”

Aubrey’s head tilts. “Hornets. But then they always hog the slopes on Fridays, Jake’s always complaining about that, so I guess it can’t be them. Uh. That guy who lives in the building next to yours. Mama, of course, and- oh, _shit_.”

Duck scans the road quickly, feeling his pulse rocket up. He recognises where they are.

“Stop the car,” he says in his rare, all-commanding Forest Avenger voice.

This could go wrong in so many ways, but Aubrey does so. She looks panicked.

“Alright. We’re five minutes’ walk from the Lodge. I’ll distract Mama, you go get help.”

Duck’s known Aubrey long enough to be able to see the stubbornness set up camp in her eyes.

“Uh, no? Duck, this is not the time for a big hero moment.”

A large part of Duck wants to agree, but he can’t see another way out of this that ends well. That motorbike is going to appear on the horizon any second now.

“I’m immune to possession or something. I’ll be fine. You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Yes you are.”

“No. I’m not.”

Alright, there’s no time for this. Time to play dirty.

“Well, someone needs to go check if Dani’s okay. She doesn’t know what’s going on.”

Duck sees her shift, weighing up 'chosen one' against 'angry electricity monster'. She's still hesitating, and it's nice, it's so nice, to think that he's friends with this noble, selfless young woman, but now is just _not the time._

"Aubrey, listen. I'm going to be okay. I promise. If you don't go now, she'll just get both of us, and then the Pine Guard, the whole town- it'll all be lost."

Aubrey meets his gaze for a good few seconds. For a terrifying moment he doesn’t think it’ll work, but-

“Damn it. Fine,” Aubrey jumps out the car, not looking happy. “Don’t die.”

Duck trusts she’ll make it okay, and focuses on budging over to the driver’s seat. The motorbike appears in his central mirror. He wastes a second to put the seatbelt on, puts the pedal to the metal, stalls, twists the ignition, and finally gets going. He’s close enough to see Mama’s grin in his wing mirror.

 

* * *

 

 

Dani stares out at the clearing, and tries to accurately surmise the recent turn her life has taken.

“Well. That was certainly something.”

Jake snorts. “Yeah, no shit.”

“Hey- watch your fuckin’ language, huh?”

They’re sitting against the wall underneath a window, right next to the bike. Dani watches Jake smile. He looks… suspiciously happy.

“You good?”

“Hm? Um. Yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty good. Surprised you got outside, actually, what with, with Ranger Newton Squared in there and all.”

Ooh, he’s way too happy. Something’s happened.

“Ah. I knocked over a vase, and then he was too concerned with getting rid of the, uh, the _fatal risk to all human life_ to worry too much about what I was doing.”

“Aw, man, not Duck’s favourite vase?”

“Yeah, no, it was.”

“He’ll be bummed.”

“He’ll live. Barclay might be able to fix it, anyway. Hey. He wasn’t, like, bad with you, was he?”

“Eh. A little protective, maybe. Touch of Grody up in there.”

Dani’s heard that before.

“He grounded you, didn’t he?”

“Wha-? No.” Jake’s face scrunches up. “Well, okay, a little, maybe. If it’s, like, grounded in the panic room?”

“I. Wait, the basement panic-”

Dani’s voice maybe sounds a little more concerned than she’d intended, cause Jake goes and hits her with a goofy grin.

“Hey, hey, it’s chill, I got out. No big.”

“Sure?”

“Dani, if there was a big, you would be the first to know. Trust.”

Dani doesn’t doubt him. Jake has a remarkable ability to just… bounce off of life. Anyway, he doesn’t look bummed in the least. He’s still kind of- buzzing. She gives it a moment.

“Alright, what? What is it?”

“What is what?”

She squints at him. He blinks. Time to go for a long shot.

“ _Who_ is it?”

It was a tentative question, but Jake’s cheeks get noticeably darker. Bingo.

“What? I don’t-”

“Jake.”

“You’re not-”

“Jake, oh my God. You’re so obvious.”

He actually laughs at that. “Oh, you want to talk about obvious? We’ll talk about obvious next time Aubrey’s in the room, how ‘bout that?”

“Okay,” Dani holds up her hands, “okay, if that’s how it is. Alright. I get it.”

Jake chuckles. Dani lets him compose his thoughts.

“So. There’s this guy.”

“Cute?”

“Wicked cute.”

“Like, ooh, that guy from Ned’s show? That camera dude? That kind of cute?”

Jake falters. His face flushes again. Dani feels grin spread across her face.

“No way.”

“Well- I was at the Crypto, and- you know, Ned’s Feng Shui salt thing- he kind of works there. Not Ned, you know Ned works there, but. Camera dude. Kirby.”

“You like him?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know him that well, but- he just kind if I wanted to meet up, like out of the blue, so-”

Hang on. Dani’s heard _this_ before, too. “Jake.”

“And, you know, I was gonna leave it, but he went and asked and, it was like, knee jerk, you know? Plus he’s cute and funny and-”

“Jake when did you say you were meeting up what time when was this?

“Oh, said we’d meet in about half an hour.”

Dani blinks patiently. “When did you say that?”

“Uh, I dunno, like twenty minutes ago.”

A second passes.

“Oh snap! Oh man, I gotta- um- okay, can you try and contact Aubrey and that lot and tell them about the whole Barclay thing?”

“Yeah, man, just go!”

“Okay! Gnarly!”

In a frenzy of movement, Jake adjusts his knee pads, then grabs his bike. He pauses.

“Wait. This was out here this whole time?” Jake sounds, for the first time that Dani has heard all day, genuinely worried.

“Not the time!”

His frown clears suddenly and he flashes her a finger gun. “True. Alright. See ya!”

Dani wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself after that, because the phone signal was (to borrow Jake’s term) ‘whacked up to tomorrow and whack’. She’s worried until a minute later, when Aubrey shows up. She’s out of breath, the same kind of wildness in her eyes that manifested that first day, when she learned about- everything.

“Woah, Aubrey, you good?”

Aubrey shakes her head, takes a second to catch her breath. “We found the bom-bom.”

So Dani says the first thing that comes to mind. “Samesies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'll figure out how actual human people talk and interact. Sorry about the delay on this one! 
> 
> In the meantime, if you've got some kudos or comments to give, I will weep with joy.


End file.
